The Law of Self Awareness: you must know yourself to grow yourself

 Growing up, my life was pretty turbulent and marked by fear, people pleasing, and a lot of unpleasant transitions….these things kept me from dreaming, having goals, being secure with myself, being honest with others and therefore not fully honest with myself.

I would lie so much i believed my own lies…kinda of funny... but pretty sad.  Now, with such insecurity you may think that would make someone pretty self aware or too self aware, but the fears and self protecting mechanisms  in my life actually kept me pretty detached from the type of self awareness that would lead to transformation and growth…. the safety of my lies kept me from being rejected, at least for a time until i was either trapped or exposed, and it was that way for many years in my life.

I was gifted and charismatic but that didn't mean i was growing as a person, and if anything i just grew more sophisticated in people pleasing, manipulation, and self deception. And as some of you may understand, you can get by with your natural talent  for some time and be inauthentic for a while but that just wont do it if your serious about living life to the fullest and making a real impact.

In Gods grace and mercy he began to open my eyes and cut through my pride, hurt, fears, and self deception. 

I've had various experiences that started to breakthrough to my heart and awakened a greater desire to grow and be better .. and all these various experiences helped me become aware of my need to change and grow.  Anything that causes awareness is “light”.

Light and awareness is the foundation for change, or growth and transformation.  Something either has to turn on inside us - which some would call revelation or a “aha” moment when we see what we previously didn’t,  or something comes in to our lives that serves as a catalyst for us to see or consider something new.  Those things or people or circumstances  create awareness or consciousness and give us the opportunity to chose from there what will do with our new found insight.  As shared in the law of intentionality Blog - knowing and doing are two different things...but both are crucial.

 Critical Questions

So when it comes to cultivating awareness or growing in understanding yourself, we have to ask one of the most powerful questions and press into the answer..really there’s two questions and one of which I’m not going to get into here, though i’ll tell you what the questions is...we have to answer with clarity, “who is Jesus Christ and who is He to you?”

He asked the same question of His disciples “who do you say that I am”  and i’ll say that this is the most crucial question and the answer to this question will help inform how you really can answer in fullness the 2nd question, which is “Who Are You?”  

Understanding who you are will point to what you are called to do….so let me ask you, where are you going in life…?

Do You Have A Sense Of Direction Of both who you want to become and where you want to go?  Are you tapped into what your strengths are, your weakness....do you know what you are really interested in doing, and do you know what your opportunities are at this present time?

 4 Critical Areas

To grow yourself, you’ve got to know your Strengths, Your Weaknesses, Your Interests, and Your Opportunities. And Knowing these four critical areas of your life tells you “Where you are” now and the reality is if you’re to reach your full potential, you MUST know where you are and where you want to be.

 Many people will tell you what they dont want in life and typically just complain about life but have a hard time describing or owning what they DO want. 

3 Kinds of People

John Maxwell points out three kinds of people when it comes to finding direction in life:

• There’s People who don’t know what they would like to do. And these folks are  confused.
• Then there’s People who know what they want to do, but don’t do it. They are frustrated.
• And then there is People who know what they want to do, and they do it. These people are fulfilled.

Where are you?

I know i have experienced all three of these at different seasons of my life and sometimes you can have a little bit of everything going on at once...

At the end of the day we all want to be fulfilled. Why would you want to stay confused or frustrated or stuck doing what you hate and dont enjoy?!

You have one life to live my friend, and you were created for a purpose and our job is to discover that purpose and wholeheartedly live into it.  

Your Identity speaks to your purpose

So we have to Become Aware Of our Own Identity.  Now i have a whole deep dive process for this but for here I’m going to take a simplified approach in how To Find Your Passion and Purpose.

 Here’s a little question, Do you like what you are doing now?  And If you are not enjoying what you do for a living, you need to take some time to explore why.  And then consider if you’re willing to make a change.

You dont have to keep doing what you dont love. My conviction and my reality is that you can do what you love, love what you do, and make a living doing it.  In the day and age we live anything is possible.  

Listen, If a person sets out to run a mile, and three quarters of a mile ahead there is a cliff, should that person try to finish running the mile just because he started out to do so? Of course not, the direction would lead to nowhere good, in fact it would lead to your own death.  In the same way concerning what you do for a living, it may not be physical death but spiritual and emotional death and unreached potential. 

What if what we are doing right now is simply the wrong direction?  Changing what you are doing is a risk, but what if you don’t change? Which risk would you rather live with?

The next question: What would you like to do?

If there was no obstacle and money wasnt an issue, what would you be doing with your life and time?  And Would you do  this “Thing” for free because you love it and enjoy it so much?  This question speaks directly to your passion.  And your passion is a key to reaching your potential.  Answer these questions for yourself.

Why is passion a key to your potential

1. You can’t go where you hate going and expect yourself to keep doing it
2. Passion gives you an advantage over those who have none. Lovers always out work just servants or workers, and lovers who are passionate about what they do will be loyal and persever under trail or hardship, where others would just give up because they dont care or they “didnt sign up for this”.
3. Passion gives you energy. Mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical energy.
4. Finding your passion requires listening to your heart. And friends, we were made to live from our hearts, from the core of who we are and what matters most to us. 

You dont have to be pushed around and conformed to everyone else’s agenda, values, and preferences if it violates the core of what you believe or stand for...you can honor and respect others while still living authentically and confidently in your passion and in your identity.  You must be you!

 Can you “actually do” what you would like to do?

Our Dreams, our imagination, and our hope, are necessary for success. But not every dream is possible due to natural limits. Ya know if you’re in your 50’s and you want to go into the military and dreamed of being a curnal  ..well its probably to late for that you …..or if you want to be the head administrator of a Fortune 500 buisness but you dont have an administrative bone in your body...well, you may need to reconsider Your dream. 

You have to know the difference between what you want and what you are good at? Art miller wrote a great book called “The power of uniqueness” that use to be called “Why you CANT be anything you want to be”..part of his main point is that you we’re created with a unique design and hard wired with a particular giftedness and core motivational pattern, and when we live and move in alignment with our design we not only are most alive and satisfied but we can make our greatest contribution with the greatest effect.  Of course we can all develop and grow in skills we dont have and improve in areas that aren’t our strength but that is not the same as leveraging our strengths..thats where will shine and make the most impact.  Thats why we need to be aware of our strengths and our weakness. Samuel Johnson said: “Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess.” ...we dont want to waste our time in life but rather make the most of it. So ask yourself and others who know you and have seen you at work and in play, What are your unique talents and gifts?  Getting clear or more aware of these things will point you in the direction you need to go and grow.

Do you know why you want to do what you would like to do? 

This is a question of Motives. This critical question is a must to get clear on, and i find is one of the most important questions  when it comes to a purposeful and powerful life that can not only stand the test of time but stand before God With confidence.

We need to realize that good things done with the wrong motive can not only become a disaster, but in my estimation is just wrong.  Plus, doing things for the wrong reasons you won't be fulfilled anyway...so we want pure motives and we want to be clear on our WHY. Because when we have a compelling reason In life and in the things were doing we become unstoppable and abide under the favor And blessing of God.

 Do you know what to do so you can do what you want to do?

This is about “What now?” If we've become aware of who we are and where we want to go and why we want to go there, then it’s time to take action and get accountable. 

See  Awareness is about Becoming very conscious of every choice you make because Your starting to live with intention & on purpose.  Then we have to take Action. As we’ve said before,The major difference between those who do it and those who don’t do it, is those who do it, actually do it.  And one major success factor that helps us actually do it is Accountability. And This can be shared accountability with a friend, mentor, or coach, or even various forms of personal accountability.  But when we start thinking about engaging others in our journey, which is a critical piece, we should start looking at the company we keep.  Who are we surrounding ourselves with and who are the people we are attracting. Is your circle of friends empowering, lifting you up, and like minded in success?  Or are they dragging you down and keeping you stuck and in the mediocre? You want people who are running in the same direction as you, like minded, and like hearted.  This issue of attraction is important because it also points to whats in you or where you're presently at in the journey.  We tend to attract who we are or the type of people we are called to.  If you are intentionally moving toward doing the things you want to do you will see other like minded people starting to track with you, and in this way you build a like minded community.  But on the other side, where we are attracted also can be a great indicator to not only our passions but where we need to give attention.

Let me back track for a moment, when it comes to taking action and accountability and mentoring relationships. One, don't try to re-invent the wheel…. there’s many who have gone before you and who are doing similar things that you want to do or are modeling what you aspire to be. 

Do you know people who do what you’d like to do already?

Think about it, take some time to make a note and write those people down. Are they coaching you or mentoring you? If not is there any way for you to learn from them in the way you need that could ideally be mutually beneficial? Think about it...

 Conclusion

You must know yourself to grow yourself; you must understand who you are and what your not.  You have to be clear on what your passion is, what your abilities are, what opportunities are before you, what your motivations are, when you can start or take things to the next level, and finally, who can you connect with who has done or is doing what you want to be doing.

Is key to keep asking ourselves the right questions and maintain self awareness so that we can continue to adjust and grow as the times, seasons, and circumstances of life change.